Shallow laughter.

“You were just so laid back in your ironies, just too self-un-involved. Always going round-about about and about .. again and again .. It was I who made life a challenge for you. I gave you direction, a way forward, I brought you face to face with reality, with truth ….”
“Truth is just a sequence of random ideas, coincidences life throws at you, especially you, that you try to put together and see a bigger picture. The truth is that there is no truth. It’s all perception, your or mine, and mine says fuck the bigger picture ! I bask in the glory of my insignificance, I don’t matter and so I don’t care.”
“And the bullcrap begins again. You really don’t give a shit to life, do you?”
“Life, aah! How strange it sounds coming from you, you just suck the juice out of it, churn it about and .. “
“Cut the crap, Roh.., there really is no worth talking to you. You don’t care about those who care, you don’t ..”
“All I can say is, here we are celebrating the uselessness of a man, barely a man, in your supposed bigger picture. But to see the picture, you have to step out of the frame. That is what I am doing, when no one sees you, you see everything. I am just cleaning the lens, and for that the glasses have to be removed. I can go on and on with the metaphors as thats all I want to do … you need not bother.”
“I need not bother! All you ever do bothers me, bothers all of us. You are dumb, not suited for the world, our world.”
“Or maybe, the world is not suited for me. All I am trying to do is find out.”
“And what good would that do?”
“Why do you breathe?”
“What the fuck .. you are just …”
“No, no please answer. Why do you breathe?”
” Because you ass, if I don’t I will die”
“And if I don’t find out, I will die.”
“I guess that would be better, atleast for you.”
“Well, what can I say? I will find out.”

“Waiter, Bill please.”

Shallow laughter resumes and still no one cares.

The great pretender !

Oh yes I’m the great pretender
Pretending I’m doing well
My need is such I pretend too much
I’m lonely but no one can tell

Adrift in a world of my own
I play the game
but to my real shame
You’e left me to dream all alone

Too real is this feeling of make believe
Too real when I feel
what my heart can’t conceal

Just laughing and gay like a clown
I seem to be what I’m not
I’m wearing my heart like a crown
Pretending that you’re still around

- A tribute to The Platters, 1955