On and about ..

It is 1:13 AM in the task bar of the laptop. I am flabbergasted after a day’s work, and have been watching sitcoms unfazed, almost unblinking eyes. I need to get up at 7 in the morning, and that it when it rings ..

Tring !

–

“So, what do you think of the large hadron collider at Geneva, Switzerland?” .. Asked she after visiting the faculty in person, last week.

–
“Well, I do not think of the large something-something at Geneva, Switzerland.” I say in my head.

Firstly because I do not see or read the news – I just come to know of important events like climate change, nuclear agreements and who Shekhar Suman was in his previous birth through word-of-mouth – I do not know shit about the world’s most advanced particle accelerator – that pessimists fear will engulf the whole world with tiny black holes at its heart, a most certainly evil creation, indeed, or would lead to development of strange new particles that resolve the mystery of “God” (or Higgs Bosons as we say in physics), or may be it would just keep guzzling dollars without even a slightest hint of a burp as the output !

So, in my view It is the quinteseential battle between good, evil and lazy, which we have seen enough in the movies, mythology, children story books, adult story books, television, radio and folk-dances of far far east.

It is not I who is saying this, it is the civilized learned world – which is people with far more knowledge, experience and facial hair than me – who are predicting these catacalysmic outcomes. Who am I to disagree?
–

“It’s a miracle indeed” I say out loud.

–

That is all I can remember from last night, and it is 4 already. Still need to get up at 7:00 AM.

Good night,

and It feels good that I can say this ..

Good night friend !

*Told you about the sitcoms

Overkill

Last Night, 3:30 AM
I am awake, again. And I know the lyrics for why I have been unable to sleep for nights. Yes, I was searching for songs on insomnia.
It started with thinking reverse psychology would put me sleep, out of boredom. But it was interesting, and I did get the idea to listen to songs on insomnia. And I had a sound four hours of sleep, after this. Read on, and listen.

I can’t get to sleep
I think about the implications
Of diving in too deep
And possibly the complications

Especially at night
I worry over situations
I know I’ll be alright
Perhaps it’s just imagination

Day after day it reappears
Night after night my heartbeat shows the fear
Ghosts appear and fade away

Alone between the sheets
Only brings exasperation
It’s time to walk the streets
Smell the desperation

At least there’s pretty lights
And though there’s little variation
It nullifies the night from overkill

Day after day it reappears
Night after night my heartbeat shows the fear
Ghosts appear and fade away
Come back another day

I can’t get to sleep
I think about the implications
Of diving in too deep
And possibly the complications

Especially at night
I worry over situations
I know I’ll be alright
It’s just overkill

Day after day it reappears
Night after night my heartbeat shows the fear
Ghosts appear and fade away
Ghosts appear and fade away
Ghosts appear and fade away

Small Talk.

M – So, how is my best friend doing today ?
R – I don’t know, who is he or she or it ? I ll just run along and ask. *Smirk
M – Aha ! Its your dry humor that keeps this place running. *I-have-the-upper-hand smile
R – Not without your sarcasm, sir .. I am just food for its soul. *I-will-have-the-last-laugh
M – The one who understood the joke last, had the last laugh.
R – *How can he read my thoughts?* *I need to say something* *Oh something* So, anyway, what are we here for?
M – Are you married?
R – No. Not yet. *Why-does-he-ask?
M – Oh, but why? Are you gay?
R – Not yet. But tomorrow is another day. *Ah-it-rhymes and with my voice, it chimes ! And it rhymes again .. its giving me pain !
M – The dry humor again. Then, how do you bring a lunch box?
R – A hired a cook who cooks. *It really is small talk.

And it really is small talk. All characters are figment of my imagination. Any resemblance to real life is purely co-incidental, unintentional and entirely unprovoked.

3 .. 2 .. 1 ..

The drop of sweat trickled down his cheek. He could feel the trail it left behind, slow, deep and anxious. He could feel his heart beating against his ribs, hard enough to just burst out. Can they hear it too the loud thudding noises in his chest, he looked at the guy besides him and wondered. And there was just a void, an emptiness growing inside him as he tried to quieten his thoughts and concentrate.

He always did this before every race, just think of nothing. A meditative state. He had done it for years, sprint after sprint, never realizing how far he lagged in the race of his life. As she used to say – a quiet mind is quite the best. He never forgot that, or any other thing she said. The deep timbre of her voice echoed in his head. He tried to picture the amber color of her skin, the sweet aroma she exuded, the blue of her eyes, and that expressive twitch of her smile .. He could feel the drop dripping down his face, only this time it was a tear – one that tore him apart.

The train alarm sounded, he was ready to jump. 3 .. 2 .. 1 ..

And as it passed over, he wondered aloud, even if you win the race, you are still a rat !

.. On buses and phones

3.48 min. And I looked at the blinking phone over again. 3.48 min of a nervous conversation, well I was nervous, and that is all.

And that is all. Hit by the proverbial bus, scratched all over, lying in my bed for 4 continuous days and yet the 3 minutes 48 seconds is what pains me the most & the fact that I have to type using one hand. In addition to that, I could not muster words I would have had I been talking to her in person. Even texting pains ..

Accidents hurt, but the formal conversations, although very inspiring, pain much more than that. I have told the incident so many times over, it is etched in my memory for ever. I fell from a bus, yes a BMTC bus, face down, yeah – it was running, close to 30 ks/hour. No- I am not crazy. Not yet. Yes, I went to a doctor. Yes, he gave medicine and applied ointment. Yes, I am taking the medicine. Yes, I will take care in future. How’s life with you?

Wherever I put my hand, some betadine scratches my skin over somewhere. When the bandage sticking to my hair is removed, it hurts, it hurts real bad. I cannot go out on a day that is ideal to go out. My days are mostly spent lying down half naked watching whatever is showing on the television. I feel numbed. Yes, it hurts and I understand its my mistake !

Although, I am overwhelmed by the care and compassion of people around me, thank you all for that. And those, who have not called till now, ring me up – I won’t bore you for sure. Its an interesting story indeed.

On a serious note, why care .. Shit happens, and I will deal with it ! But, maybe the image will stay engraved in my mind forever ..

P.S It really was a serious mishap, though my frivolous writing contradicts that ..

Just another day, while brushing

Reality TV

To,
A Listening Ear

Do the resumes for your show look like this ?

Previous Experience -
1. Reached the interview stage of Roadies.
2. Runner up Teen Diva.

Skills -
1. Can don a two-piece bikini and a one-piece sari with equal non-chalance and gracelessness.
2. Perennial peeping tom and cunning opportunist.
3. Can swear in eight different languages.
4. Clueless and can look the same on TV.

Strengths -
1. No general knowledge.
2. Can cry, weep, wail about, throw tantrums, fall in love, fall out of love, hate at will without and with script.

Career Objective -
Modeling career, TV publicity, 2nd Grade Films more or less in the same order.

From,
Just Another Guy

I am no judge – neither qualified nor inclined to be – yet Is reality this ?
I think I deserve better. I may sound like an age-old crib, but Bournvita Quiz Contest was a better reality show than yours, anyday. Cheers.

Pyaasa

मैं दूं भी तो क्या दूं तुम्हे आए शोख नज़ारों .. ले दे के मेरे पास कुछ आँसू है कुछ आहें

And it left me wondering if there could be a better start to a movie. A poet in pain as a shoe kills the wasp that lovingly adored a flower .. wondering what is it that he can give to this world but suffering! There is a sense of detachment evident from the first scene itself that haunts the movie throughout. Guru-dutt in a poised and restrained performance symbolizes the struggling human, fighting against a set-in-its-way family, a cold society, practicality and realism. The story revolves around his writings and his tireless stubborn efforts to make his place in an out-of-place world. The irony grows as he earns well-deserved acclaim and following after an apparent death, that is disregarded as he claims what is his. Selfish ignorance of talent and its use for petty benefits is so in-your-face, a sense of guilt knots and unknots in the stomach. And as the protagonist poet succumbs to idealism once again, the movie ends in an arrogant betrayal to the world !

Go watch it.

A Sneak Peak With Your Permission

I love status messages. I religiously read all of them whenever I login. And I reflect upon them to figure out the what and why of it. And I am shameless enough to ask. There is a voyeuristic streak to it with a dash of detection pleasure. It is intellectually stimulating and helps form a connection with the numerous friends you find limited time to talk to. And I owe a lot to these status messages for the free entertainment.

In this post, I will try to feature the interesting ones as and when they come. The best ones will float to the top and I do plan to give monthly awards once recess – period of recession – is over.

“If vodka was water nd i was a duck, i wud sink to da bottom nd neva cum up…but vodka’s not water nd i m not a duck, so slide me a bottle nd shut da FUCK up!!!” - J

“Simplicity is the best sophistication ” - Pedro

” http://www.phdcomics.com/comics/archive.php?comicid=988 ” – Gigoo

“I was better before…till the moment I started trusting my heart ” – Bhandu

“Psepho” – RP

A Log, not a Blog.

Here it goes.

7:56 PM
I am getting too used to the creature comforts .. beware !

8:15 PM
Subtle when sober, awesome when not ! I need to get ..

8:17 PM
I tried to merge truth with beauty, and probably that is why I failed.

Whoever shall try to find patterns of beauty in life shall miss the beauty of life, To find calm in chaos is what life should be .. and yet its the chaos that I have managed to get embroiled with, further adding to it.

Forgot that even a perfect imperfection is an imperfection.

The rat race has consumed the rat. – Smiled the cat.

I was late to realize that truth can never be beautiful .. Yet the pursuit goes on, it will either be a dead end or a dead man.

8:59 PM
Self imposed fake mediocrity tends to well-deserved arrogance ? Is it a virtue to stay low or is it just not possible ? I don’t realize what I mean by all this. Maybe it’s just an excuse for underachievement. Yet in any case, it’s a good excuse.